Collingwood Jokes

[TalkingFootball]

A primary teacher starts a new job at a school in Collingwood and,

Trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her

Class that she is a Collingwood fan. She asks her students to
Raise their hands if they, too, are Collingwood fans. Everyone in The
class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why
Didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Collingwood fan,"
She replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a
Collingwood fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I'm a Melbourne fan,
And proud of it," Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her
ears.

"Mary, why are you a Melbourne fan?"
"My mum is a Melbourne fan and my dad is a Melbourne fan, and so I'm a Melbourne fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, "that's no

Reason for you to be a Melbourne fan. You don't have to be just
Like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a Prostitute,
your dad was a drug addict, and your brother was a car Thief, what would you be then?"



"Then," Mary said, "I'd be a Collingwood fan."

[Miranda Long]

If you like good jokes i hgihly recommend you get to Pakenham for a one off show by Trevor Marmalade - should be awesome

[Plugg3r]

OMG TF.net, Massive +1.
Collingwood - 1

I actually laughed!

[cormick]

haha gotta love collingwood jokes

[Plugg3r]

Everyone loves Collingwood jokes, because they're true
Ok, Pie supporters don't, but hey they're only 70% of the fan population.

[EagleRock]

Thats a good one.

[jas929406]

Nathan was at School one day,and the Teacher asked all
the children what their Fathers did for a living
all the typical answers came out:Fireman,Policeman,Salesman,
Chippy,Captain of industry,But Nathan was sitting quietly in the corner,so the Teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his cloths
in front of other men.Sometimes,if the offer is really good
he'll go out with a man ,rent a hotel room and sleep with him."
The Teacher quickly sets the other children some work and took
little Nathan aside to ask him if that was true.
"No"said Nathan."He plays football for Collingwood,but i was too
embarrassed to say."

[EagleRock]

Thats another good one.

[TalkingFootball]

A mortician had a new apprentice who was learning the embalming ropes.

He walked into the embalming room where a corpse was lying on the table. g he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his boss, he began examining the body. He rolled it over and to his amazement there was a cork in its ar$e.

Mystified, he pulled it out, and immediately heard; "Good old Collingwood forever......." come out the guys butt.

Startled by what had happened, he shoved the cork back into the corpse and ran up the stairs to find his mentor; "Sir, you've got to come down and help me, I've just seen something I can't believe."

Annoyed by the naivety of his assistant, he said OK and followed him downstairs; "There, look at the cork in the ar$e of that body, I couldn't imagine what it was doing there so I pulled it out. Please you do it."

The mortician was a bit surprised to see the cork, too, so he walked to the table and removed the cork, and sure enough:- "Good old Collingwood forever...." began to play.

Exasperated, he replaced the cork in its appointed position, turned to his assistant and said: "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of ar$eholes sing that song."

[TalkingFootball]

A Collingwood Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.

The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take the red one."

The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher."